lately...

things have been quite topsy-turvy. my life has literally been an emotional roller-coaster. from feeling completely alone and rejected, to not knowing what i want to do with the rest of my life. i think i'm finally starting to figure things out though.

on the whole subject of feeling alone sometimes, i can't really help that. all of my oldest and best friends live at least 200+ miles in either direction. the only people i have are kylie, matt, dani and my roommates. but let me not get started on that. all i'm going to say is that i KNOW i'm not crazy anymore. when people change, you will notice it. gahhh these last 2 weeks or so have just been so shitty. i don't care about school anymore, sometimes i wonder why i'm even here. needless to say, i've basically given up on my classes which is horrible. i need to put some kind of effort into it because my gpa will suffer. and do you want to know WHY i've given up? because i hate my classes. CLASSES I'M TAKING FOR MY MAJOR, which i changed to art because that's what i've always wanted to do. but it's ruining it for me and i no longer feel the need to study it. so this week i'm changing it back to anthropology. i feel like that's the right decision, and even thinking about it makes me feel so much more relaxed. i'm signed up for classes and everything.

saturday was my first month anniversary with matt. haven't had one of those in awhile...it was fun though. we went to a party on friday night and were up until 5 am playing with his star wars legos i got him and singing christmas music. we're actually going to disney with my family this weekend, and i'm quite excited for that. i've realized that i like him a lot, more than i thought i would, but i don't mean that in a bad way. i'm very happy with him and i find myself thinking about him a lot which is in some ways new for me. i haven't liked or opened up to someone like this in a long, long time.

gavin turns one on thursday and i cannot wait to see my family. i haven't seen them since august and i've been going absolutely crazy. thinking about close it is until they come up here actually makes me tear up a little. everyone else has gone home at least once or has had their parents come visit. not me. it's hard for them with the baby and work and the other kids. and i haven't wanted to make that drive by myself. i have a feeling i'm actually going to break down and cry from happiness thursday night. i'm just afraid gavin won't really remember me because he hasn't seen me in months...i hope he does.

this is quite possibly the longest blog i've written so far. i've needed to get these feelings out somehow and i don't know why i didn't think of this earlier. people don't even read this so it's more like a personal diary if anything haha. well it's late and unfortunately i have to work tomorrow. i probably won't be able to get to sleep early enough but at least i've stopped having nightmares. maybe it was from being so stressed about so many different things and then i had my huge mental breakdown a little while ago where i cried for HOURS. i'm not exaggerating when i say i believe i cried from 730 well into the early morning.

but i guess i ought to try and sleep.
goodnight world, sleep with angels.
<3 k

ps - i promise to be less emo next time hahaha

oh it's been awhile...

ahh, it's been a few months since i even looked at this thing. i'm so bad at blogging, keeping a diary, or anything dealing with daily writing for that matter. there's always so much going on i feel like i don't have time to sit down and do it.

looking back at my last post, it's kind of amazing how much things have changed. in such a short amount of time i've become somewhat of a different person. for the better of course. i feel like i'm much happier. i love my apartment, my room is pretty sick. it's new york themed, and very modern. it's red and dark gray. ah you have to see it for yourself. i got my monroe re-pierced so that's helped a lot to sort of make me feel like myself. i also now have a boyfriend :) why yes, yours truly, the girl who has been single for 3 years. his name is matt and it's surprisingly refreshing how comfortable i am with him and the fact that he's made me a very happy person. even my step-dad made a comment that he "hasn't seen me smile like that in awhile." this sounds super cheesy, so forgive me, but i find myself thinking about him a lot or just staring at him and smiling, which is new for me. well not new, but i'm rusty in that whole 'boyfriend-girlfriend relationship' thing. right now things are looking pretty good, and i hope they only get better from here.



other than that, i changed my major because i could not stand my drawing class. it was ruining it for me. instead i'm focusing on something that i should've done from the beginning, graphic design. i'm gonna be optimistic and say it won't suck as much. (fingers crossed of course). i've decided to stay at ucf, which was definitely a big decision. let's see...i plan on getting tattoo #6 sometime in november or december. ahh and my little gavin turns A YEAR OLD next month! i can't believe it. for real, i'm mildly obsessed with my baby brother haha.

halloween is next week and i've decided to be marilyn monroe. FINALLY. i've wanted to be her for years and years because she's one of my idols, has been since i can remember. only until i get into college i finally go through with it haha. my roommates and i are throwing a party and it's sort of stressing me out. i get paid on friday and so much of my paycheck is gonna have to go towards this. AMANDA CAME UP WITH THE BRIGHT IDEA TO PROVIDE ALL THE ALCOHOL AND FOOD. thanks amanda hahahaha.

so overall, i've been pretty happy and there have been a few big changes in my life. and now that i've realized i've written a mini-novel, i figure it's enough to hold over until the next time i remember i have this blog.

until next time,
kris <321

i want to run

with the wild horses.
i finally feel free from this little hole i've dug myself into for the past 3 years. i'm very proud of myself and even though i may not be completely over it quite yet....it's definitely an improvement and i am happier than i've been in awhile. one of my best friends told me, "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option" and i feel like that has definitely become my only option. which isn't necessarily a bad thing. part of me is hoping this isn't just a one time thing. i really hope this past weekend is leading me towards overcoming it all. i don't want to dwell on it anymore but for some reason my heart still wants to, despite what my mind says. i don't want to feel all that pain anymore. i can't.


so hopefully this time will be different.
it HAS to be.
on a lighter note, i saw the newest harry potter movie last night. i waited in line for 4 hours but it was worth it! my friends and i made shirts (okay, well i made them haha) and got all nerdy. it was fun. i fell asleep for about 2 minutes because i was so tired but thankfully i didn't miss anything. i haven't been able to sleep for the past two weeks...i have an idea why but at the same time i don't know why. it's starting to get ridiculous and it's interfering with daily life.

once again getting off track on the "lighter note" hahaha. i encourage everyone to go out and see harry potter. mainly because ron weasley is just so bloody adorable for a redhead ;)


well i'm going to pull an albus dumbledore and dip outta here haha
<3 kris

snape. snape. severus snape. dumbledore!

oh that harry potter puppet pals video is fantastic. anyway...the point of this is I AM GOING TO GO SEE THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE TOMORROW NIGHT WITH AMANDA!!!!!!!!!

words cannot explain how excited i am. it's just like how i was when i saw twilight at midnight. it's just....WOW. but this time i won't be disappointed...i hope. amanda and i are making shirts today to wear tomorrow hahaha. it's going to be great. and i'm gonna draw a lightning bolt on my forehead and everything. i've always wanted to dress up and now i will...as nerdy as that is! we're also gonna bring a board game (since we're getting there early) to play to pass the time and hopefully make some new friends!
of course i will take pictures to commemorate the event!


<3 hermione
oops, i mean kristen

untitled title

so this past weekend was a blast. i needed that. it was super fun and i loved seeing where amanda grew up. now i'm excited to take her down south with me to show her MY home! i took a bunch of pictures that i'm proud of and are deemed flickr-worthy haha. so i'll be uploading those shortly.
in the meantime, i'm at work. i woke up late :/ mainly because i was hanging out with THE BEST BIG SISTER EVER (hi kim) until 3 last night haha. it was great to laugh and talk and watch stupid yet funny youtube videos with her. i've missed her so much, i'm glad she is home now.

oh and last night a friend of mine im'ed me via facebook and was like "oh would you like to come to disney for free with me next friday?" LIKE YOU HAVE TO ASK?! apparently he can get free tickets from his boss from 4 people. so him, amanda and one of my sisters, meghan and i are all going :) it's going to be fantastic! i've been wanting to go to disney for awhile. call me crazy, but disney has this smell about it that i can't explain. it just takes me back to being a kid and i love it!

well i'm not going to ramble on so let me go back to playing farmtown (pretend you did not just read that haha) and i will update soon.
buhbyez, kris

ja-ja-ja-jacksonville

so i'm in jacksonville for the holiday weekend. i'm pretty excited, i've never been! my summer roommate last year/roommate this fall/best friend brought me home with her :)

we went galavanting around town and i fell in love. it's just all old and adorable. san marco is beautiful and i would love a house there. she also took me to meet the legendary rex the dino...i mean it being me, it was a necessity to go. my obsession is ridiculous. we also went to 5 points and one of the tattoo parlors were doing 30$ tattoos. you could choose from different designs they drew up. i was SOOO tempted to get one. but my mom would kill me if i did.

tomorrow we're going to atlantic beach and hanging out, drinking, tanning, taking pictures...you know the deal. i can't wait, i haven't been to the beach in the longest time. anyway i took some melatonin to help me sleep and apparently it gives you really vivid dream which i'm quite excited about!!!

so goodnight world, sleep with angels :)
<3 k

school's out for the summer!

AHHH i am finally done with classes. i haven't had a break since LAST SUMMER. that is 4 semesters in a row. i desperately needed a break. now i can relax and actually enjoy my summer :)

i would play a song that would never, ever end because i'd love, love, love to dance with my father again

father's day is always pretty rough. it makes me think too much and i get all emotional. and to torture myself even more i have "dance with my father again" on repeat. but at the same time, it's a good release. i need it.

but at this point i'm ready for today to be over
i love you and miss you daddy. please come back

party like it's 1999

tonight we're having a party at my friend alex's house. i'm excited. oh and yesterday i cut my hair super short. at least for me. my hair has always been long...it was almost down to the middle of my torso. now it's at my collarbones...but i like it. A LOT. it's something new. oh and i got my 5th tattoo yesterday. on a whim haha. good thing i have a list of tattoos that i want in my head so i wasn't hard to choose one

it's been real
kris

how?

how do you tell someone something you don't want to? it's hard. 

hello world

and bloggers alike. this is my first attempt at blogging, so please excuse any boringness haha. i'm not really sure what i want this to be about. but knowing myself, it'll end up being a lot of things. 

i guess i should start out with a general introduction. my name is kristen, but i prefer to be called kris. i'm 19 years old, i live in florida and i'm an art major. some of my favorite things in life are photography, fashion, tattoos, dancing and dinosaurs. i have a lot of dreams and goals for myself and i plan on trying to achieve (or at least attempt to try) all of them. i guess that pretty much covers the basics haha

i assume that for those of you who will read and maybe follow along with this blog (fingers crossed!) you will get to know me even better in time. after all, you write about what you know.

see you later alligator,

kris

ps - if you're interested in looking at some of my photography, check out my flickr - http://www.flickr.com/kristenhugo